Specialists in the field of political correctness are tonight trying to determine whether calling a black woman 'a black man' should be deemed sexist, racist or both. A furore has emerged after the South African 800m runner Caster Semenya was considered too butch to be a woman. Members of the South African athletics squad have said that the accusation is essentially racist because it suggests that black women are more like men than white women.
"Puh-lease," said legendary feminist Germaine Greer tonight. "We all know that gender stereotypes are created by men to enslave women. Take my gorgeous tran-servant Carita Delilah Dubois (not literally of course... please don't take her, she's mine.). She's always thanking me for everything that I have done for 'us women' over the years, yet as soon as my back is turned she is out of her fishnets and mascara and knifing specimens of the Mexican street scum in downtown Trumpington. And so it is with us women. The only reason why women have muscles is because men invented the Olympics to hide their own gender insecurities. And then along comes Caster who is trying to conform to whatever the crypto-gay, misogynists consider to be 'In Vogue', and bang she is in the dog house (not literally of course, I hope.)
Specialists in the field of specialists tonight audaciously suggested that all of the journalists and academics currently trying to fill broadsheet and tabloid column inches alike with their takes on modern gender are totally clueless. Said one, herself a recent mother, "When you are born, they stick a pink bracelet on girls and a blue one on boys. But when we women are lying there watching it happen, do we complain? The fuck we do. We're just thinking, like the gal in the next bed, How can I lay my hands on some more of that lovely Fentanyl that the midwives were pumping into my spinal column just a while ago?"