Friday, 19 February 2010

Breaking News - Bank Exodus

Mayor Boris Johnson's worst fears were realised last night when it was confirmed that an investment banker has moved to Switzerland. Mayor Johnson had been warning for some time that new taxes would spark a frantic exodus from the City of London as bankers headed for "the charms of yodelling, cuckoo clocks and the sparkling dreariness of the Swiss."

The banker, Rudi Euler, who works in 'stock lending' and actually originates from Zurich said, "My bosses say they won't pay me more money because I am always making errors. Then the tax man takes what little that I have. So I am quitting and returning home."

Mayor Boris said, "This is our worst nightmare. Bankers have said for some time now that they would leave these shores if they had to pay new taxes. We must listen to them. These chaps are not crying wolf, you know. Except, of course, for the ones who are."