Thursday 8 October 2009

Bullingdon conference update

A member of the Conservative party has been arrested after he stole a 150 pound bottle of champagne from the Midland Hotel in Manchester. Police detained him overnight and released him the following morning without charge.

In his defence he claimed that his behaviour was in keeping with the spirit of the 'Bullingdon Club' to which the party leader, David Cameron, the Shadow Chancellor, George Osborne and Conservative Mayor, Boris Johnson all belonged in the 1980s. In fact had police not interrupted him when they did, he had fully intended to swing on chandeliers, trash hotel rooms and debag other party members.

Elsewhere, the Bullingdon is overshadowing Conservative plans in Europe. It has been alleged that members of the ultra-nationalist Fatherland and Freedom party are having second thoughts about aligning themselves with the Conservatives after they learnt about the former antics of its high command.

Their leader Roberts Zile who has been a Tory guest in Manchester this week was appalled when confronted with the details of some of its episodes. The worst amongst these was the night when Bullingdon members smashed almost all the glass of the lights and 468 windows in Peckwater Quad of Christ Church, along with the blinds and doors of the building.

As Zile walked away from gathering journalists he muttered under his breath: "They sound like a bunch of Waffen-SS thugs to me."