Gordon Brown's Policy Points Dissected:-
- A strategy to tackle anti social behaviour - "We reduced crime by reclassifying much of it as 'anti-social behaviour'. Now we shall reduce anti-social behaviour by reclassifying much of it as 'unruly behaviour'."
- No compulsory ID cards - "We will put an stop to what we started in the first place."
- End to binge drinking - "See ID cards (above)"
- Teenage mother's hostels - "We suggested this in 1998. But in view of the fact that it never happened, we are perfectly entitled to suggest it again... and again."
- Get tough on ASBO dodgers - "We will be tough on ASBO dodgers, tough on the causes of ASBO dodging (i.e. Gordon Brown, who downgraded ASBOs.)
- An elected second chamber - "It is indeed fortunate, Comrades, that this didn't happen when we first promised it, because my government would fall apart without it's unelected peers. But next time round it really will happen... Honest."
- Change - "The great thing about change is that you can keep on promising it, even if nothing really changes. Let's face it, we're not getting any younger... or even staying the same age for that matter, Comrades. And that is indeed change!"
"To conclude, Comrades: If at first you don't succeed, try (2001), try (2005) and try (2010) again..."