The girls didn't half make a racket last night. Lucky I don't have to be up at 7am these days.
The evening started civilly. Although over our lamb chops and a lot of wine we had an annoying argument about ‘all women shortlists’ – a debate that nowadays even the Conservatives are addressing. I joked that the Tories were thinking about introducing all-Etonian shortlists in some areas. It was a lightweight joke, nothing more.
But my New Labour apparatchiks did not find it in the least bit amusing. It apparently just showed my ignorance of the issues… those issues that New Labour had tried so hard to address for some years now – like equality. Also they stressed that they didn’t generally care for my ‘armchair analysis’ of issues close to their hearts - because of course, I have no ‘practical oversight’. I responded that we’d had plenty of debates where I’d pointed out massive inconsistencies in their arguments. Like the one a couple of nights back about the government criticising city bonuses, then doing nothing actually to tackle them. That didn’t go down well either. Maybe they think that someone who once worked in the city simply could not understand the central concerns of government… or policy… or actually putting your money where you mouth is?
Aurora said that she was off to bed, and Minxy, keen to conciliate, followed after and then whispered back, “Come on.”
I followed a few minutes later and then a new riot kicked off…
I popped to the loo, and I heard the music cranked up. Mid-flow I had to rush back to remind them to keep it down. "They're strict in this block. You know that. You don't want me to be booted out, do you?"
Then I got into a heated row with Aurora after she thought that I was showing Minxy too much love and attention. We were entwined for a minute or two too long, I suppose. This threesome thing is not something that you take up lightly. In fact it's an emotional minefield - and I say that as the least emotional of the three of us. No sooner are you finding fulfillment in one corner, than the other corner starts to complain.
Aurora, still lying on the bed, kicked out at me and landed a couple of blows on my chest. As she went for a third, I grabbed her leg, caught her by the ankle and twisted it. She flew off the bed and landed with a bit of a thump. Minxy stepped in and tried to calm us both down. "You tell her to calm down," I said and I wandered off to fix a drink. I came back to find the two of them snogging. I was tempted to say, "It's ok for you, then, isn’t it?" but I thought better of it.
We do, I have to admit, make up quite quickly after these episodes and we accept that when emotions are being strained in this way and the dynamic is fuelled by drink, it’s easy to get steamed up. After some more to-ing and fro-ing... and thrusting... we managed to settle down around 3.30. The girls had to get up early the next day, and I couldn’t get back to sleep after they’d gone. I was bloody exhausted.
By guest blogger Wat Tyler