Saturday, 26 September 2009

From G-Whizz to G-Was

The G-Men are back. Well-groomed, in snappy suits, keen, mean, the G-men stride across the world stage. They have come a long way since the old days. They have recently saved the world from economic crisis, from financial meltdown. They return refreshed, renewed. And they are no longer 8 in number. Now they are 20.

Don't be mistaken. They might look like they are all just smiles. But no, they are much, much more than that. They are hugs... they are words. They are photocalls. They are intentions and aims and goals. And of course, they are hopes. They are the very audacity of hope, the audacity of hopes.

And here comes Gordon - is he G1 or G2? Nobody knows. Does anybody care? He is all swagger and rictus grin. He has renewed confidence, despite what the polls back home say. And now a man called Barack, audacious, hopeful, arrives and the crowds are loving him. Maybe it is he who is really G1... And Gordon, confirming that Barack is indeed G1, calls over to Barack: "Please, Sir. Can I have my picture taken with you?" Barack does not appear to notice and walks on amongst the adoring crowds, oblivious.

And everyone is asking: Will these G-Men conquer the greedy bonus-hunters, the dreaded 'Masters of the Universe'? Will they defeat that eternal enemy that wishes to drain the life blood from the planet, that seeks to destroy all Earthlings?

Well, you, the reader, can stop worrying about all that. The G-men have decided that they are going to have a good long sit down and think and talk about the problem of the 'Masters of the Universe'. And not only that, they will also make statements, saying that they are going to do something, insisting that something must be done. And when we, the earthlings, see that they all shaking hands and hugging eachother, we will surely be able to rest assured that something will undoubtedly be done. Once again we will be able to sleep at night.

And then the wives of the G-Men appear. Boy, do they love these photo-calls, with their designer suits and their hair-dos. They love all the primping and pampering and showing off... And then the wife of G-Brown calls across to the wife of Barack and she shouts, "Can Gordon have his picture taken with your husband." And the wife of Barack whispers into the ear of Barack. And Barack nods in that subtle way that he does. And then the wife of Barack gives the thumbs-up to the wife of G-Brown. And the wife of G-Brown then whispers into the ear of G-Brown. And all of a sudden, the rictus grin, that very trademark of Gordon, G-man, G-Brown... that grin, it just got a whole, whole lot bigger.