Thursday, 24 February 2011

Twilight of the Oligarchs (Act Three)

We ask a Libyan oligarch to give his take on events currently unfolding in "his" country...

"My peoples, I speak to you as father of the nation. I speak to you as father, mother, supreme leader, as the only leader, as the judge, the jury and executioner of the nation.

"We see again how dirty Western imperialist, in league with Al Qaeda and mad dog Obama Bin Barrack, are fermenting troubles in small pocket of the East of our great country. We see how they sow seeds of unrest and unhappiness and are wanting to undermine everything that you, the people, and that I, your leader, love and cherish.

"The vile alien dogs, they are engaging in these cunning stratagems of theirs and they are deliberately and willfully intoxicating the young peoples, the ordinary citizens, with hallucinatory drugs. These drugs, that are known to make men crazy, they have given the ordinary people the delusion of grandeur and are making them think they all should be free and powerful like their great leader, like the dynasty-family of their great leader. These drugs make people heady and make them think they make decisions. They make them think they will know how the oil in this country of ours, how it must be produced. These drugs, they make them think they know how the money that come from that oil, how it must be distributed. These drugs, they make people think they own the oil - as if it did not come from the land itself. But the land itself, as we all know, only the land itself does own the oil and the people need great leader, who can talk to the land, and who can to tell the people how to distribute the oil. And if they do not do that, all that will happen is they use this oil money to buy more drugs from that dog Obama, which then make them more heady and more hallucinatory and then make the ordinary citizen think he can even own the sands of this country and then he will want to eat the sands and then, because of these hallucinatory drug, he will almost want to eat the camels one day, all the camels in Libya, even the brother sister's camels, and after that he will want to eat the tent in which he live and the tent in which I live too. And soon after that, all the camels in Libya and everywhere, they too will want to eat all the tents. And after that happen, President Osama, he will send his dogs into Libya. And he will have given them guns and hallucinatory drugs as well. Those dogs, they will then want to shoot the camels and eat them. And then the sands, they will swallow up the camels and the tents and the peoples. And all of Libya will disappear into nowhere. I ask you: What kind of hallucinations is that? Not my kind, peoples. Not my kind.

"So, as your leader, I ask you, the peoples to ignore these despicable Western capitalist Al Qaeda peddlers of drug hallucinations filth. I ask you to join me and to get heady with me and my hallucinations instead and with my grandeur instead. For these things are far better for the peoples of this nation who have known little else but my leadership and my fatherhood of this nation. I urge you to fight the Western Islamist capitalist semitic Trotskyites anarchist agitator-oppressors of our peoples. I ask you to fight, alongside the foreign mercenaries who support our peoples' will that is to shoot protesters and to support the democratic engine of our peoples. For we have created that democratic engine in our own likeness and we will fight to the last drop of blood to defend it.

"Finally, I ask you, my peoples, your peoples, the world's peoples, the everybody's peoples, to listen to these words of mine. For I am not just the judge, the jury and the executioner of this nations, but I hope, I might be, and God-willing, the caretaker, hereafter...

"For, everybody, he need a caretaker. Or maybe do I mean an undertaker? Probably both.

"Probably both... My peoples."

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