Is it not time to introduce full-brain scanners into Parliament in order to establish the integrity of prospective Members?
The scanners would root out any MPs, including Lords, who are chiselling, greedy, mendacious little crooks and who intend to fiddle their expenses or sell their services to the highest bidder.
Needless to say, there is one problem: stiff opposition from the Prime Minister. He is afraid that, if tested on him, the scanners might also show that he is a total fruitcake, who plans to turn the country into a banana republic and keep the entire population under 24 hour surveillance.
A Parliamentary ombudsman today announced that this should not pose a problem: The general public already know this to be the case anyway.