Friday, 8 January 2010

Friday news in brief

'Conservative' strategy chief

David Cameron has admitted that his strategy director Steve Hilton made a grave error of judgement when he shouted "wanker" at train staff. Mr Cameron yesterday made it clear that Steve Hilton should have shouted the abuse at either Gordon Brown for his hopeless transport policy or at former Prime Minister John Major for his ill-judged privatisation of British Rail.

Clarke Cunt

Gordon Brown has denied cursing former Cabinet Minister and 'Super-man', Charles Clarke. Discussing the recent coup attempt by Patricia Hewitt and Geoff Hoon, he said, "it is great having someone like Charles whom my cabinet colleagues can use to stitch up potential Labour rebels like Patsy and Geoff. Why would I call Charles a cunt when he is such a dependable tool?"