Monday, 21 June 2010

BP and the Bermuda Triangle

Could it be true? The oil spill was not the fault of BP, but was really the latest ghostly manifestation of the Bermuda Triangle? Word going round the higher echelons of the troubled company is that it is as much a victim of the ecological disaster as the struggling Gulf of Mexico fishermen.

"We are all yachting men and we know troubled waters when we see them. For example, we will never sail through an oil slick. No way! It makes our lovely white hulls all black and slimy. And if that happens you have to get out your big boat brush and spend all weekend a-scrubbing and a-whitewashing. It'll be bloody ages before you get your life back, be in no doubt.

"And another thing we boating fellows know is that you NEVER, I repeat NEVER sail into or within close proximity of the Bermuda triangle. It's a hell-hole. It has taken down many a boat and many a skipper with much bigger balls than any of us might hope to possess. And we are now working on the theory that this Triangle might be the root cause of the catastrophic spill.

A spokeman for BP was pressed on this point. He was asked first: Was the well-head really that close to the legendary Triangle? Second, did this spooky manifestation have much form when it came to screwing with deep water drilling, especially of the oil variety?

He responded: Who knows? There has to be a first time for every triangle. Maybe that well-head was more than this ghostly entity could resist. And anyway, if it ain't the Bermuda Triangle, we're also looking into suggestions that it might be the Bahamas Triangle, the Cayman Triangle, The Monte Carlo Triangle... Who knows, even the Tripoli Triangle?"

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