Tuesday, 22 June 2010

The Budget: Long Faces at Disney

It's not just the Mickey Mouse jobs, the Donald Duck sinecures. Councils throughout Britain fear its the final curtain for thousands of useless posts created during New Labour's time in office. Who will now pay for what the deprived and destitute really need: Totem Pole Artists, Putting People First Programme Managers, City Events and International Links Officers?

The cruel old Chancellor has decided to slice and dice the public sector and throughout the land people in jobs serving no useful purpose whatsoever will find themselves on the scrapheap - as if they weren't effectively already.

Said one Wellbeing and Looking Outwards Analyst: "My job which used to pay a mere 35K a year was a lifeline for the many useless and boring people who lurk around the corridors of Britain's council offices. I used to go round making sure that people took tea breaks and went for walks in the park just as they're supposed to do and just as it says in their contracts. Do you not see? People who are in dead-end jobs need people like me to tell them to get a life. These cuts are an absolute tragedy. Now it's me who's going to have to get a life. And there's no one out there who's going to tell me to do it. Well, apart from the Chancellor of the Exchequer, that is. The bastard."

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