Wednesday, 20 January 2010

Banks to get charitable status

The government has confirmed that banks are to get charitable status by turning themselves into churches. The idea was originally proposed last year when a Bank of England report looked into whether some banks are 'too sacred to fail'.

The report concluded: "Some institutions will need to be ring-fenced so that during a crisis they can continue to operate and offer essential services. If this means applying different policies on tax and pay to these institutions then so be it.

A spokesman for The Church of the Latter Day Sachs commented: "This is what we have been asking for all along. Banks need this kind of ring-fencing. Without religion, you can't pray. But without banks you can't pay. Which is worse? Go figure." The spokesman for the Morgan Tabernacle Church added, "Now it's official. Greed is God."


  1. Williams, Rowan (Archbishop)20 January 2010 at 13:07

    Whilst I would not wish to dispute the importance of those in the banking fraternity to our civilisation, would it be terribly discourteous to direct you to the words of Jesus in relation to money lenders?
    Oh, perhaps it would.

  2. Meyer Amschal Rothschild, International banker20 January 2010 at 13:07

    "Give me the right to issue and control a nation’s money and I care not who governs the country.”

  3. Vee never had zat problem in zee Catholic church. Vee are cool vith money!

  4. Bob Hope said: A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it