Sunday, 20 February 2011

We're all royalty now.

What's the world coming to when the Duchess of York is not invited to the Royal Wedding whilst those arrivistes the Beckhams are? We asked pop culture's No.1 power couple to give their "historical perspective" on such matters.

David: Well the way I look at it is, we all come from the same place in the end.

Victoria: Or in the beginning, Dave

David: Yeah, or in the beginning, love. We all come from the same place in the beginning. Cos' when all is said and done we was all common people once, including them royals and them aristos and all them people. We all had to start somewhere.

Victoria: Yeah, cos, like when you think about it all those geysers what came over with Norman the Conqueror, they weren't like royalty to start with. But cos' they had like a meritocracy in them days, just like they do now, they all had the chance to become respected members of the community, just like what we is now.

David: And also, some of them was probably footballers and singers in them days as well, I kid you not. And they was rewarded for being talented, and giving the people what they really wanted...

Victoria: Or what they really really wanted, Babe.

David: Yeah, nice one, love. What they really, really wanted. And that's why they got their posh houses in the country like we do now.

Victoria: And then they could afford to send their kids to private school, just like we do. And then they became even posher still. And then their grandchildren was like even more posher and soon became like royalty. Almost.

David: And that's the great thing about merita.. merry.... merocracy. It means that, you know, one day Jordan's grandkids will become royalty.

Victoria: And so will Simon Cowell's

David: And so will Kelly Osborne's

Victoria: And so will Peaches Geldof's.

David: Yeah, that's right, love.

Victoria: Damn right, Babes. Cos' we're all royalty now.

David: Yeah, love. We're all royalty now.

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