Thursday, 27 January 2011

Sex, drugs, and hack and roll

What'll they make of phone hacking a hundred years from now? Will writers, poets go beyond the mundane "who hacked whom"? It's possible. They say historical events are often best viewed through the prism of literary narrative... or, something along those lines...
Here are just two examples of how these "men of letters" might one day frame what's going on:-

1. Nursery Rhymes

Hack and Bill went up the hill
To fetch some boiling water
Hack fell down and spooked the Crown
Old Bill came tumbling after

2. Biblical Scriptures - Taken from the Book of Interceptiones, Chapter 101, Verse 10

And John did hack Pete and Pete did hack Glenn and Glenn did hack Jack and Jack did hack Charles and Charles did hack Gordon and Gordon did hack Norman and Norman did hack Rebekah and Rebekah did hack Brian and Brian did hack Alan and Alan did hack Rupert and Rupert did hack Dan and Dan did hack Sienna and Sienna did hack Judah and Judah did hack Steve and Steve did hack Max and Max did sue the hackers and everyone associated with the hacking thereof... And it came to pass that anybody who was anybody did hack their foes, and all kinds of shady beings were at it all the time, this hacking, nay, except the common man who did simply read what the hacks did write in their solemn pamphlets and beheld them in wonderment.

And the Lord said unto the leading hackers. "Thou art hacking bastards. For I have it on good authority that thou has hacked even myself. What kind of dirty little hackers art thou?

And the hackers did look sheepish and they wailed and did beat their breasts and replied: "Forgive us, Oh Lord, for we know not what we do. We did honestly believe that what is sauce for the spook is sauce for the hacker."

And the Lord showed pity on them and duly sent them all to Hell where they did indeed belong.

And verily, there, in Hell, did they all hack happily ever after

There endeth the lesson

For now, at least.

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