Wednesday, 3 February 2010

Live by the sordid, die by the sordid

(Two football supporters sit in a pub discussing the fate of John Terry, football captain, and his extra-marital affair.)

Melvyn: Bloody disgrace. As long as he does what he needs to on the pitch, I couldn't give a toss. What he does with his private life's his business.

Mart: Yeah. His business... Although then, you could say, its your business now.

Melvyn: How do you mean?

Mart: Well, its your newspaper; you bought it. So John Terry's affair is your business as well now.

Melvyn: Yeah, well it is now, I suppose.

Mart: And its the business of that newspaper.

Melvyn: You what? How do you mean, the business of the newspaper?

Mart: That's what the newspaper is in business for. To investigate stories like that. That's it's business.

Melvyn: Well, I suppose, when you put it that way.

Mart: And it's Max Clifford's business.

Melyvn: Wait a minute...

Mart: That's how he earns an honest crust. By getting involved in stories like this.

Melvyn: Yeah, but business. When I said business...

Mart: And its the Premier league's business...

Melvyn: Hold on...

Mart: Only a Premier League gets premier publicity, premier coverage.

Melvyn: But, but, I didn't mean it in that sense.

Mart: And it's the supporters' business.

Melvyn: What? Supporters' business? You can't say that. They didn't want to hear about his affair.

Mart: Which is why they didn't bother reading about it, did they?

Melvyn: Fair enough, so once it was out there, they did read about it. But even with all that, it doesn't automatically mean he deserves to have his private life investigated.

Mart: But this isn't any private life. This is a Premier League private life. That's why you pay so much for your season ticket and your football shirt. You're up there with the best of them. But even when you fly first class, you don't get to choose which passengers you fly with.

Melvyn: You what? Listen, I'm just saying that everyone deserves their bit of privacy. That's like the most precious thing you can have. Even more precious for someone who has so much publicity in their everyday life already.

Mart: Which is precisely why everyone wants a piece of the action... Because John Terry's privacy is... big business.

Melvyn: Yes. But that's doesn't make it right. Does it?


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  2. You don't need privacy, if you have nothing to hide.

  3. I promise that a Labour government will provide free surveillance cameras for all.

  4. Private parts for private tarts

  5. These stories are so Mooreish aren't they?