Friday 5 February 2010

Best little whore-house in Westminster

Prime Minister Gordon Brown evoked the spirit of Margaret Thatcher today as he tried to repair damage caused by the expenses scandal.

He announced: "It is fair to say that, were Mrs Thatcher around today, she could reasonably expect to be a member of my Cabinet. And it is with her in mind that I state:-
"Where there is discord, may we bring harmony. Where there is error, may we bring truth. Where there is doubt, may we bring faith. And where there is despair, may we vote Labour."

The Prime Minister wept briefly then added: "This speech is brought to you by MPs-R-Us - Preserving traditions and keeping Parliament 'The Mother of all Whore-Houses'."

18 comments:

  1. I bought me a boy. Right Hon or something. He's real loyal, works like a dog if you treat him right. Think I might buy me another soon

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  2. Margaret was never a real Conservative. Did she spend any time at Eton? I think not.

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  3. I never got paid royalties

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  4. Well the good thing about all of this is that from now on MPs will all be honest like me

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  5. Can I just make it clear that I am not, as wrongly suggested in some quarters, a Non-Executive Director of MPs-R-US.

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  6. So once the MPs expenses scandal has been 'sorted' I wonder whether the practice of MPs tarting themselves to outside interests will be Brown's next target. Somehow I doubt it.

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  7. Politics is show business for ugly people? No. It's prostitution for ugly people.

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  8. Mud, mud, glorious mud...
    Mud doesn't always stick, but MPs stick together like glue

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  9. Bang the lot of them up

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  10. I fully intend to make another YouTube video to show how I will make Parliament a better place

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  11. I would like to announce that I will be hosting dinner parties in at Westminster for any companies willing to dig deep.
    This is what I call democracy at work!

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  12. Billy Bunter in charge of the tuck shop...?
    Wasn't that just supposed to be a joke?

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  13. Nothing will be cleared up. It is always going to be in the interests of the next government to continue what was in the interests of the previous one.

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  14. Okay. So there are the good guys and the bad guys. So why don't the good guys make the bad guys feel very uncomfortable? Or maybe they do.

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  15. Sorry, but just to clarify my previous post...
    Most MPs are honest and decent, apparently.
    So why don't they make the lives of the dishonest ones a misery? Shun them, send them to Coventry. Blackball them. That is what normally goes on in clubs. So why are they not doing it?

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  16. Question: How many independents will there be after the next election?
    Answer: Not many, if any.
    If that is the case, how will anything have changed?

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  17. F*** the lot of them

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  18. FROM THE PAST:

    "One senior minister dismissed the row over 'MPs for sale' as a bout of 'summer madness'. But John Major was said to be 'very angry' with the Tory MPs at the centre of the controversy, writes Colin Brown....
    Sources close to the Prime Minister said Mr Major was annoyed that the stupidity of two Tory MPs had unsettled his efforts to pull the party together before the long summer recess.

    The Government is hoping the inquiry will clear the air over the affair, but it fears it will rekindle the Labour spring offensive over 'Tory sleaze'. One party source said: 'If the Sunday Times had been really clever, it would have waited a fortnight and done it after the reshuffle. Then we would have had this row rumbling right through the summer.'
    Oh, remember the good old days...?

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