Monday 11 January 2010

News in brief

BBC Director General - Update

The BBC's Mark Thompson has confirmed that senior BBC staff are better than local council officials. In an statement he said: "Do you honestly think that your local council could give you wall-to-wall darts coverage and cheesy, vacuous ballroom dancing competitions?"


A doze by any other name


Banking group Santander has rebranded itself and will from now on go by the name of Santander. A spokesperson announced this morning, "These are exciting times. The one thing that this country needs right now, after the meltdown of 08/09, is a vibrant new banking group. We are happy to announce that Santander is nothing of the sort. It is an assortment of old banks that have been 'reheated' and served up as something new."

12 comments:

  1. Don't forget that there is a load of other crap on the Beeb... reality tv, golf, snooker...
    We are not just darts!!!

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  2. Nigella Gormless11 January 2010 at 02:49

    Oh and cookery programmes (pout pout)
    Does my ass look big in this - I hope so!

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  3. Hold on guys. The Bwitish Bwoadcasting Cworporwation is all about supwemely talented talk show hosts wiv names like Jonathan who interview celebwities and politicians, and ask them searching, complex qwestions like, "Do you enjoy wanking?" and "how often do you wash your cheesy cock?"

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  4. Oi guys, I love brands. In fact, I love myself even more than all the other brands.

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  5. There's nought wrong wi' darts.
    In fact, where I comes from we says that any man who has a set of darts and a brace of whippets is made up, he is.

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  6. The Director General11 January 2010 at 12:19

    Yes, you are so elitist and negative. What is wrong with giving people what they want... even if it is rubbish and is all they would get even if it wasn't what they wanted?

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  7. Don't knock councils. Apparently some of them have more climate change specialists than gritters.
    I bet they also have more darts and dancing co-ordinators too.
    Politics is all about priorities. So is television.

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  8. I am so pleased to see the return of that wonderful Chris Evans to the BBC. This is exactly the kind of talent that the Beeb needs!!!!!

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  9. Golly isn't that Chwis Evans a supwemely talented perfowmer? Only Chwis can say 'bum' wiv that kind of bwilliance.

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  10. Oi... How can you be having brand loyalty when there is so much rebranding going on nowadays

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  11. Shucks guys, you forgot to mention Virgin Finance. That company is new is it not?

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