Thursday, 1 October 2009

Exclusive - Cameron conference speech leaked!

Dear Mr. Murdoch, Sir.
I would like to say how grateful I am that you have decided to support the Conservative Party. I have always been a big admirer of yours and have always enjoyed reading your really excellent papers, especially the one where the women show their protuberances.
I promise you that I will not let you down. I will do all of those of things that those fibbers and cheats in the Labour Party said that they would do but did not do. I will follow whatever you say on Europe and I assure you that I will not pass any laws that upset business people like yourself.
I will not behave like a toffee-nosed, arrogant public school boy but will understand the needs and aspirations of the common folk and help them to watch your television channels even more regularly than they already do.
I will listen to all your representatives on earth such as the journalists that you employ. And I will help the poor people in the BBC and ITV who wish that you could own their companies so that they could work for your good self. And I hope that if and whenever this happens, that they can start making really good programmes like the ones that you see nowadays on Sky TV
I will allow you to clean up those last bastions of restrictive practices in the media... In actual fact, I will quite simply let you... 'clean up'.
I will always remain your humble servant.
Yours very, very faithfully,


  1. I love the Sun newspaper. Just because I have class and breeding, it doesn't mean that I don't want to take a peek at Cindy's tits (36-25-36).

  2. I love the Sun and always have done.
    It is free enterprise at its best!

  3. Bloody working class. They won't let us down.

  4. Mr Murdoch knows
    A fine pair of tits
    Don't you know?
    One went to Eton
    T'other to Harrow.

  5. Where were Mr Murdoch when we's needed hem like?
    I joost has two weee-udds ta see to Mr M:

  6. Well, I am a Lord
    With oodles of class,
    But less of the boobs, please
    I prefer arse.

  7. Don't get mad, get Murdoch.

  8. Nice of the Sun to chose the moment right after Brown's rousing conference speech.
    Shows what kind of a pact Labour had with Murdoch in the first place.

  9. Isn't this just a commercial decision on Murdoch's part... just like anything that Murdoch does?
    He would get in to bed with Communists if there was money in it... oh hold on... that'll be China, won't it?

  10. Come on you Reds1 October 2009 at 10:43

    We Liverpooool supporters will never forgive Mr Mair'duck fer his scand'lass cov'rage.
    I has jost tree weeerds ta see to yoos:

  11. I still haven't decided who I am going to support at the battle of Megiddo.
    I'm still up for offers

  12. It's not great news that Murdoch has switched, but never in the past century will have mattered less than this time round.
    The next election will be won on the playing fields of cyberspace.

  13. Labour better not get too shirty with Murdoch... at least not yet. The Times still has not declared...

  14. The Sun will not decide, and has never decided, the outcome of an election. All that it has ever done is accurately to predict the way the wind blows amongst its own readership... then jump on the appropriate bandwagon.

  15. If the Sun wants to back a man that has no real idea how to get out of this recession and perhaps will even deepen it thats up to them.

  16. The Times will probably play a much longer game - even keeping Brown on tenterhooks, maybe to make sure he doesn't pass any legislation that will be negative to News Int between now and election day

  17. If the Tories get in at the next election, what will this mean for the Union (I don't mean TUC)?

  18. Is no one concerned that the media play a massive part in influencing the way we think - Let's face it, we have become accustomed over the years to just having to digest whatever crap is on television or fed to us in the papers.
    The media does not create our thinking, but if there is nothing else to behold, to ponder, to think about then what will our minds turn to? SKY bloody TV!
    To mush...

  19. Mush ado about nuffing...

  20. Ned's other bird1 October 2009 at 18:13

    Stop finking and roll over will you?

  21. The Murdoch is the massage