Monday, 4 October 2010

Inner Space?

(Victoria Beckham and Katie Price - aka Jordan - discuss the loss of child benefit for high earners)

Becks:  I tell you. It's disgusting it is, Jordan, Babes. That Ozzy Osborne's goin' to get rid of child benefit for us hard working Mums.

Jordan:  Don't you mean, George Osborne, Babes? Ozzy don't owe you any child benefit, does he?

Becks:  Dunno. Only met Ozzy a couple of times. Don't think he owes me any benefit. But I wouldn't know, would I?

Jordan:  I hope he don't, Babes. You know what the News of the World would say, dontcha? You know, if Ozzy owed you any benefits?

Becks:  Yeah, but I'm bein' serious Babes. Me and Dave's down to our last twenty million. And it's important I get that money cos it's a universal benefit.

Jordan:  What's that then?

Becks:  What's what?

Jordan:  What you just said... Was you trying to be posh just then and speak French? You said "universal benefit". That's French innit?

Becks:  Don't know, Babes. French for what?

Jordan:  Dunno. Probably French for universal benefit, whatever that is.

Becks:  Yeah, suppose it probably is... But anyway. My point is, it's wrong..

Jordan:  What is?

Becks:  Getting rid of universal benefits. I'm a member of the universe. Just as you is.

Jordan:  Yeah, that's a thought innit? We're both members of the universe. Never thought of it like that.

Becks:  Yeah, like, that's what I mean, don't I Babes? It's disgusting. We're all members of the universe and so we all deserve universal benefits... even if we are more successful than other members of the universe.

Jordan:  Yeah, that's right. We might be better than everybody else, but we still deserve to be treated as members of the universe just like everyone else is.

Becks:  You's so right, Babes. We deserve what everyone else gets even though we's better than what they are.

Jordan:  Can I just ask you one question?

Becks:  Yeah? What's that?

Jordan:  What's child benefit?

Becks:  Child benefit? Don't ask me, Babes. I only heard about it today. But what I do know is, it's wrong to cut it for people like us.

Jordan:  Oh, yeah. I'm completely with you there, Babes. I don't what it is either. But it's completely wrong to cut it for people like us.

Becks:  Well said, Babes.

Jordan:  Thanks, Babes. Shall we get another bottle of Chardonnay?

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