There are fears millions of corporate "fat cats" will leave the country and head for sunnier climes after Business Secretary Vince Cable declared war on the excesses of capitalism. Cable will today announce a government inquiry into the "murky world of corporate behaviour" and "corporate short-termism."
Said one senior executive: "We never liked Britain anyway. The climate's rubbish and we'd prefer to experience the joys of the Far-East during monsoon. Anyway, UK property prices have little upside right now and Chelsea is full of oriental speaking people. Also the kids hate their cosy little private schools and would prefer to lose all their friends and live in Shanghai instead."
Said another: "Cable is mad. Doesn't he realise that all we'll do is up sticks and take our toxic products to the Far East or any country that'll pay us inordinate amounts of money. In Asia they missed out on the full effects of the credit crunch. These were exciting times and we're sure they'd love the "economic meltdown experience".