Friday 19 February 2010

Breaking News - Bank Exodus

Mayor Boris Johnson's worst fears were realised last night when it was confirmed that an investment banker has moved to Switzerland. Mayor Johnson had been warning for some time that new taxes would spark a frantic exodus from the City of London as bankers headed for "the charms of yodelling, cuckoo clocks and the sparkling dreariness of the Swiss."

The banker, Rudi Euler, who works in 'stock lending' and actually originates from Zurich said, "My bosses say they won't pay me more money because I am always making errors. Then the tax man takes what little that I have. So I am quitting and returning home."

Mayor Boris said, "This is our worst nightmare. Bankers have said for some time now that they would leave these shores if they had to pay new taxes. We must listen to them. These chaps are not crying wolf, you know. Except, of course, for the ones who are."

9 comments:

  1. Maybe we better not introduce any more taxes just yet. Otherwise it might hinder Labour's exodus to the investment banking community after the next election.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bankers will always make threats, and then it's a case of who blinks first? Usually the government. The number of blinks that this government has performed since getting into power is remarkable.
    Bit of lobbying - amazing what it achieves.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Brown / Darling rely on the banks more than ever right now... at least until the election happens

    ReplyDelete
  4. Switzerland certainly the most boring of the affluent nations.
    Even the Swedes are interesting compared to the Swiss

    ReplyDelete
  5. There should be more taxes for bankers. How are they making money at the moment? On the back of money swishing around the economy thanks to quantitative easing.
    Total con

    ReplyDelete
  6. Banks are making money. Give the bankers their due

    ReplyDelete
  7. This government is determined to raise taxes and creat new ones, in the event of the media brewing up a storm.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Just imagine shifting the population of the City to Zurich? Are they busy building Canary Wharf developments

    ReplyDelete
  9. Uncle Bernie Madoffshore19 February 2010 at 21:34

    That does it, I am leaving too. Although, I perhaps maybe I have

    ReplyDelete