Wednesday, 2 December 2009

Sex, drugs and moderation

Hi, I am the moderator of this site. You can call me Steve, just Steve, as I am not going to give you my surname. That might simply lead to hate mail from people whose comments I deleted for breaking ‘community rules’. It might lead to hate mail for all sorts of other reasons as well. I should know - I receive a lot of hate mail. It’s quite disturbing really. But I try not to think about it.

Anyway, we handed this blog over to the ‘people’ yesterday. By ‘people’, of course we mean to the readers, you guys. The first slot was taken by Old Etonian prig, Hugh Juggs. When I say ‘prig’ I don’t want to seem partisan. I would call anyone a prig who expressed attitudes like the ones that he did.

Anyway, ‘the experiment’ (as Ned is calling it) was an enormous success. We have been quite literally inundated by readers wanting to give their two pennyworth. I tell you, it’s going to start sounding like ‘speakers corner’ around here before long. Although of course, I accept that the allusion is not perfect, as we are not literally putting people onto soapboxes. Anyway, who uses soapboxes nowadays, eh?

I’ll give you a bit of a run down today on what came in, and then, over the coming months and weeks we will be publishing some of the better contributions - you know, kind of like alternating with our guest bloggers and, of course, the big man himself, Ned Ludd (who, the way I see it, contributes very little to this site nowadays.)

So readers, this is your site now. Not mine, not the people who actually put in an honest day’s work. Not the people who do it day in day out. But yours! And, what the hell, that is what I call democracy! Or is it demagogy? Doesn’t really matter, does it? They’re probably the same thing - at least nowadays they are!!

So, anyway, kicking off… there were a lot of contributions from people who thought that Hugh Juggs was just a smutty pseudonym. And as a result we had people with names like, Hugh Janus, Mike Hunt, Mike Hunterts, Isla Vashit, John Cox-Ukker, and the supposedly oriental, Stin-Kee Cok! Great guys, I love a laugh too. Sadly these ‘blogs’ tended to be incoherent rants about the state of modern Britain and were a bit cliché ridden – and yes, we have all heard the terms New Lie-bour and ZanuLabour! They’ve been on the blogosphere for years.

More interesting, what I can only describe as a sex blog. It was inspired in part, I assume, by that of the escort, Belle de Jour. And it’s about a lovely lady who imagines herself to be in an extramarital love affair with the new president of the EU, Herman Van Rompuy. The housewife, who is bored with her hum-drum, suburban existence, apparently finds solace in the arms of this ‘Belgian Stallion’ and has a variety of encounters with him, including a ‘whipped cream weekend’ in his modest Brussels apartment. Full marks for imagination!

We also had something slightly more troubling: A serial killer blog – a description of a day in the life, or rather days in the life of a mass murderer. Let’s hope that this is one of those ‘thought experiment’ blogs, where the writer only ‘imagines’ certain scenarios (that never actually happened). God, I really trust that this is the case, because this guy is really fucked in the head, he’s really sick, and I’d hate to think that he was actually out there, on the loose. I read his piece last night and I couldn’t get to sleep afterwards.

Anyway, this is all that I have the time or space for right now. More later. Ned tells me that he wants to feature at least a couple of ‘people’s blogs’ in the next week. So we are going to be busy doing some screening over the next few days and will let you know what we come up with. In the meantime, keep commenting folks. We cannot all be bloggers, at least not all of the time. And as they say, the lion will lie down with the lamb. Or whatever it is they say.

And one final thing: Go easy on the hate mail, folks. Some of it can be quite vicious, and remember that I have feelings too. And please, if you are the guy who sent in the serial killer post, I can assure you that I was in no way being critical just now. I am no judge of my fellow man and I say 'each to his own' and all that. All that I was saying earlier was that what you sent in seriously scared the fuck out of me. But it’s ok, it’s cool. This is a relaxed environment we’ve established round here.
By Moderator, Steve. Anonymity is OK - No names, means no hate!


  1. Yes, Steve. The lion shall lie down with the lamb. But it might be worth checking on the lamb tomorrow morning.

  2. What? No political blogging? Have you gone soft, man? Politics IS blogging, its not all about this sex and lifestyle nonsense. Who needs sex anyway?

  3. Yes, this is what is called 'blog drift'. You start out intending to do political blogging, then you move into areas that are more popular.

  4. Steve - Moderator2 December 2009 at 13:30

    Folks, we will be featuring one or two political blogs as well. Patience, please!

  5. Hello Steve, I don't suppose that you have telephone number or an address? I have some very important information that I would like to send you

  6. Steve - Moderator2 December 2009 at 13:50

    Er, no, thanks, Hannibal.

  7. Why do political bloggers always assume that blogging was invented for them?
    No, guys, it existed before you lot turned it into a boring journalistic / ideological tool.

  8. Would you chappies be interested if Nick Robinson and I did a question and answer section on ye little webbie site?
    The reason is that he and I like to chat about politics after a wee dram and a spot of the Blue Nun. But tha language can get wee fruity and the Beeb will nay let us swear on their webbie.
    So we thought tha we can come on yee webbie and do a ding dong about who we does think is goin' down at Westminster. And we can say it in tha language of bonnie Scotland, and tell ya readers what we really think on tha party leaders! (A wee bunch of tossers, like).

  9. Hello Steve, so are you going to publish my 'Killer' blog or not?
    I assume that you are.
    By the way I am very laid back - as my victims will tell you. They were, shall we say 'disarmed' by my style

  10. Hi, can I just add that when Andrew Neil and I go drinking, and shouting at MPs from Westminster Green, the actual f-ing and blinding is done more by Andrew, who as you can imagine is used to certain 'Scottish drinking ways.'

  11. Hi Steve, when I asked whether you were going to publish my blog, I was expecting an answer.

  12. Tiger Tiger (If anyone would).2 December 2009 at 17:20

    Just for the record, my wife did NOT tell me that my eyesight was failing and that I could no longer hit a birdie.
    My eyesight is very, very good as you can tell from my expert handling of my car in an accident

  13. Can I just say that that was not me earlier posting about Nick Robinson and I doing a lewd slot?
    Any repetition of this will result in my contacting my lawyer