Friday 4 December 2009

PM to say sorry

The Prime Minister will today respond to criticisms that he has not made any apologies recently. It was thought that he would make an apology this week for an historical event with which he is totally unconnected - perhaps the Black Death or the Magna Carta.
However Number Ten is hinting that the PM might make an announcement later today and possibly go one step further. There are suggestions that he might apologise for something that will happen in the future, with which he is also unconnected, but which might be perpetrated by the Conservatives, such as excessive bank bonuses...

More on this breaking story later.

12 comments:

  1. That would be rather good of him. He is such a proud man

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  2. I would like him to apologise for the Olympics

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  3. Yes, it is true. Hard though this might be, I am willing to apologise for all the terrible deeds of the Conservative party, past, present and future.
    Only a man of my stature is big enough to do such a thing

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  4. Alistair Darling4 December 2009 at 17:03

    I would like to announce that I apologise for the greed of the banking community and would like to make it clear that it is very greedy of them to pay themselves so much

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  5. I would like to apologise for the existence of Gordon Brown. I created him when New Labour was experimenting with the Frankenstein's monster project and I didn't know what I was getting into, if you catch my drift.
    The guy is clearly a basket case and I am really fucking sorry

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  6. Ernie the Milkman4 December 2009 at 17:09

    Since he apologises for things he doesn't do, would he mind saying sorry to my missus for all those housewives I shagged?

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  7. Can I please apologise for the fact that I have nothing to say sorry about? I feel really bad about being so perfect, but I cannot let people down by lying and pretending to be crap.

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  8. Us big swinging dicks know that it is a sign of weakness to apologise.
    I therefore make NO apology for not apologising, and hey, what's more guys, I'd actually like you to apologise to me for expecting me to apologise to you

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  9. Rowan Williams (Archbishop)4 December 2009 at 18:59

    I think that in this season of goodwill to all men (including gay men and women men) it is necessary to apologise for the need to apologise.
    Were it not for the teachings of Jesus we would never have felt the need to encourage people to apologise as they feel it necessary to do nowadays.

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  10. It is clearly inappropriate for an OE to say sorry but we always move with the times and pretend to care.
    So that's a sorry, I guess.

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  11. Frankly, Cameron is no better than Brown. I don't want any apologies, I want them to go.

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  12. Doesn't capitalism stink? (I make no apologies for saying that).

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