Friday, 25 December 2009

Christmas Message

Virus warning
Researchers have identified a new strain called Cowell virus. This is what is termed a 'concept virus' and it has a corrosive effect on the brain functioning of infected individuals, causing stultification, lack of imagination and a moronic obsession with vacuous issues such as fame and celebrity.
The virus will spread in 2010 unless people reject the spoon fed diet of drivel - that includes celebrity chat shows, reality TV, talent shows, property programmes etc. These are known to be the virus's perfect host. The virus has already spread from independent producers to the BBC, and even the government has risked exposure to it on numerous occasions for the sake of free publicity. It is time to act.

Watch this space.

Or don't.


  1. I wish that I were allowed to send out Christmas messages like that.
    They won't even allow me to start f-ing and blinding like dear old mama did.

  2. Might I say that I am not totally sure of the references within this message, but I would wholeheartedly endorse it were I to be.

  3. Make way for the modernisers, guys. No more women or poofters

  4. I predict that Cowell will go punk or anarchist next year just to spite RATM

  5. Guys, I'm a genius and I'm bigger than Jesus.
    NME says so, ok?