Friday 20 November 2009

An EU Policy Advisor writes

I have been following this website with its guest bloggers for some time now. Some of the posts can be quite clever. Occasionally they are poignant. From time to time, I even detect a note of humour. What is clear though is a consistent bias in the posts and that bias is anti-establishment in tone. I have sent countless emails to Mr Ludd pointing this out and have asked on many, many occasions if I might offer the opposing view. To date his responses have been really quite unhelpful. In instances they have included the ill-considered use of words that some would deem offensive. However, after the recent arrest of two of his ‘bloggers’, Mr Ludd is in a spot of bother.

I sent him another email yesterday, when I read of that arrest and I asked him what he intended to do. Would it be conceivable, I asked, that I could offer my opinion on current affairs? This time he has responded in the affirmative, and with the following encouraging words, “If it will stop you bugging me, you tit.” And so it is that I will take today’s slot and offer you a few words of wisdom. I am glad that Mr Ludd has at last demonstrated that he is eminently willing to publish the other side of the argument.

Now there are some of you, possibly many, many of you who think that I am British. Very entertaining! But sorry, nothing could be further from the truth. I might have a grasp of English that is as firm as, and in many instances, firmer than that of British people. But it might surprise you to discover that I am in fact Belgian. Like our Prime Minister, and now President of Europe, Mr. Rompuy, I speak all the languages of the EU. And like Mr Rompuy, it is through the use of these languages that I hope to spread harmony, understanding and, most important of all, unity.

Now, you might have enjoyed the anti-establishment posts on this website. You might have felt some sympathy for the Lord and Lady who ‘innocently’ supplied drugs to elderly people. But can I say that you are terribly mistaken if that is indeed your viewpoint? For how indeed do you intend to achieve unity in this little country of yours, if you can criticize the drug taking habits of some in your community whilst ignoring those of others? The law must be rigorously applied across all communities if it is to work and to work efficiently. The law is not something that you can pick up at the time of your choosing and reject like some cheap and dirty wench when you no longer have need of her (which incidentally I have never done, however dirty she was at the time.) Just because Lord and Lady Trencherman are of noble provenance it does not mean that they are above the law.

And in no less a degree is this the truth for the European Union that it is currently my honour to serve. Now that we have our new President, Mr. Van Rompuy we finally have the opportunity to spread unity across the member states and to ensure that this unity is rigorously enforced by the application of the law.

It is truly a great day for democracy. It is truly a great day for all the nations of Europe and for all the people of all of those nations. For whilst Mr Van Rompuy was elected by a few grand men and women, he – and those men and women – will work tirelessly for the many. And I can delight you now with the news that it will be good people like myself who will spread the word – or rather the words - of the EU. It will be people like me with my twenty six languages, who will tirelessly teach the skeptics and the cynics amongst you of the great benefits of this community. It will be people like me who will show you how to reject the eccentric behaviour of your Lords and Ladys who pursue simply their own ends. And finally it will be fellows like me who will teach you how to act within the law and for the good of all people – even those people who are not clever enough to recognize that good!
Thank you.
By guest blogger Didier de Clerck, EU Policy Advisor

15 comments:

  1. Yes, that was lovely. So glad that you are going to play such a big part in our lives

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  2. What a charming EU official you are Mr De Clerck. I wish there were more people like you in the British government, in fact in all the governments of the world

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  3. I have always believed in the rigorous enforcement of consensus!

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  4. The marvellous thing about the EU is that the lives of its citizens will be enriched, whilst the selfless bureaucrats and the businessmen whose shoes they shine will become secondary

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  5. Rumpuy for One inside20 November 2009 at 21:02

    That Baroness Ashton inspires confidence doesn't she? Even though noone in this or any other country voted for her, it is good to know that, had they had been able to vote for her they would almost definitely have voted for her. In fact, it is not too improbable to suggest that everyone would deinitely have voted for her. And in a way, probably did.

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  6. Thanks for that well informed opinion!

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  7. You never had oligarchy so good

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  8. Consensus must not only be done, but must be seen to be done!

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  9. I would like to add my voice to the growing consensus that Baroness Ashton is the best thing since sliced bread

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  10. Isn't it about time that people started following orders?

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  11. Herman Van Rumpuy20 November 2009 at 21:26

    This is what i am dreaming of all of my entire life. I have done what Adolf Hitler could never have imagined achieving.

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  12. What an unpleasant comment

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  13. Please, no unpleasant comments

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  14. " Like our Prime Minister, and now President of Europe, Mr. Rompuy, I speak all the languages of the EU."

    Blimey. You speak ALL of them? ALL 23?

    I am impressed.

    Though I do smell a fish.

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