Thursday, 22 October 2009

Alternative lifestyle

Of course, darling Aurora thinks I’m crazy pursuing this Dragon’s Den idea. What are you actually hoping to achieve? she asks. Apart from maybe pissing a few people off big time? I know you view these ‘Dragons’ as attention-seeking egotists, but they didn’t get where they are by being total dicks. The plan does seem a little half-baked, don’t you think?
Yes, yes, I know that her way of life has rather more direction than mine. She knows exactly what she'll be doing in six months time; she’s part of a team with vision and focus etc. But if she’s really into this alternative lifestyle thing, as she has always claimed to be, how come she spends most of her waking hours living by the same conventions as the rest of the population? How does that work then?
She responds that she has an ‘alternative love-life, alternative sex-life’. And that is actually rather different. It doesn’t mean you have to go the whole nine yards and make everything in your life alternative, surely? And also you still have to feed yourself, don’t you, even if you do live in a teepee… or whatever it is you call your flat? You still have to pay the bills? How alternative is ending up on the scrapheap or on benefits?
Suppose she has a point. If I don’t get my shit together soon, I’m going to end up burning through my cash pile – not that it’s so much a pile any more. Still, right or wrong, it hurts hearing this argument from someone who hails from a conventional political background. Feels like I’m being preached to by an apparatchik.
I tell her that I have a few things up my sleeve when it comes to the Dragon’s Den idea. She smiles sympathetically. I explain that I’ve been in touch with a guy from Uni days who works on the show. He might be prepared to tip me the wink when they’re next filming, and I can slyly show up with my laptop and the web software loaded onto it, grab Peter Jones’ attention. “Peter… a minute of your time, guvnor…”
Aurora doesn’t even attempt to comment but smiles once more, and then turns to check herself in the mirror. Says she’ll catch me later and that Minxy will definitely be coming around tonight as well.
“Any chance of us cooking something other than steaks on that grill tonight darling? They are lovely, but, you know… nice to have a change. Also Minxy says she's off carbs at the moment.”
As I watch Aurora hurry down the corridor, I think, Minxy's always off carbs.
Minxy…that means another heavy one tonight. I'm going to be knackered tomorrow. Another morning written off.
Really better pull my finger out this afternoon then.
By guest blogger Wat Tyler


  1. Always wandered what these ex-city people get up to.

  2. Go on, are you going to let us know what the DD idea is?