The Global University

Coursework: The Long Term Benefits of Globalisation - Part 3a, Section 2.
Our very own Professor Gspot offers the following criteria for global economic harmony:

"Once the multiple and diverse economies of the global community have become fully and soundly integrated, the leaders of those individual economies will naturally find themselves not only committed to the spread of global enterprise and endeavour and the pursuit of wider wealth generation, but also the furtherance of a unified taxation strategy that ensures that the bailout junkies and the bounty hunting bankers - who dream of running off to Asia or Switzerland once the going gets tough - find they no longer have anywhere to hide. Unless, of course the terms of globalisation, as defined by Western leaders over the past decade, did not, or had not, taken this very taxation issue - along with all of the entrepreneurial running and the hiding - into account. In which case, what we globalisationists would find ourselves concluding is as follows: Your money is our money. And our money is our money."

Plumber saves Western economies

Whilst some may remember a massive credit bubble that ultimately tipped Western economies into a collapse of unparalleled proportions, others will recall a Prime Minister who saved the world at the height of the crisis when he persuaded world leaders at the G20 summit in Pittsburgh to join a rescue mission.

Following on from that success, that same Prime Minister will this week see the release of his book entitled "Beyond the Crash: Overcoming the First Crisis of Globalisation".

Some of course will doubt he's qualified to offer such advice in light of the economic climate he allowed to develop during the "Noughties". And others, again, will point to the fact that he led the way out of this crisis through his resolute actions at the summit.

We asked a plumber to give his take on what actually happened:-

"Well, way I see, guv'nor, is it's like this: You call in a plumber to sort out the pipes and the boiler on your central heating system. Right? And this bloke ends up bursting the pipes, flooding your entire house, and almost recking all your possessions. Know what I mean?

"Then he turns round like and says to you - 'well at least I found the stopcock and managed to turn the water off, didn't I guv'nor? So in that respect, I stepped in just at the right time to stop even greater carnage."

"Then, just before he leaves, the geyser what owns the home asks: 'So, what's the damage?' And the plumber turns round and replies: 'Oh, that'll be one trillion quid please... and preferably in cash if you got it. Know what I mean, guv'nor?'