New Gordon

The government has raised the threat level for a General Election to imminent. The Home Office announced “Whilst we do not wish to alarm the public, the new level means that people need to be more aware.” The government was not prepared to reveal specific intelligence, but hinted that increased ‘chatter’ led to the decision.

“Gordon is keen to avoid the mistake that he made in 2007 when he appeared weak and indecisive, and unsure whether to call an election. But this is the 'New Gordon', a leader who determined to scare people into voting him back to Number Ten.”

The spokesman added, “New Gordon, New Warning.”