100 most influential women

Any survey that places Victoria Beckham (No.2) above the monarch (No.3) and the director of the human rights group Liberty (No.4) is clearly not worth the paper it's printed on. Then again it could be evidence of how low standards have slipped in recent years. Perhaps influence is nowadays about how much jewellery you own, how many bottles of perfume your face can sell, or how many gormless kids download your latest trashy album from the internet. One thing's for sure, Ms. Pankhurst must be turning in her grave. Let's take a look at some of these names:-

J K Rowling - The writer who made countless kids think boarding school is "magic".

Victoria Beckham - The woman who made moronic vulgarity a lifestyle choice.

Kate Moss - The gal who made millions of teenagers want to be thin and shove white powder up their noses.

Alexa Chung - TV presenter with an influential face - it appears everywhere you look these days.

Cheryl Cole - Once married to an "influential" footballer, sings formulaic jingles dressed in erotic clothing. Put malaria back on the map.

Davina McCall - Famous for presenting a vacuous reality TV show where contestants have sex with one another

Elizabeth Hurley - Wearer of an influential dress

Fearne Cotton - The face of the dismal, trivial television channels BBC3 and ITV2

Jilly Cooper - Brought the lives of bonking country folk to the masses.

Stella McCartney - Daughter of a famous pop star, designer of influential clothes.

Tracey Emin - Made semen-stained beds hip and cool

Tessa Jowell - Husband "rubbed shoulders" with a famous and influential Italian Prime Minister (mentioning no names).

Kirstie Allsopp - Made DIY fashionable.

Leona Lewis - Made Simon Cowell rich

The list goes on and is a grim indictment of our "tempora et mores". Most notable, Germaine Greer doesn't appear. At the time the survey was carried out she was too busy chaining herself back to the railings whilst simultaneously trying to burn her bra(s)... no mean feat.