Gordon Brown has signalled that he will 'be there' for the middle classes if he wins the next election. In a bold statement this weekend he has announced that he will not only have his class war tattoos removed, but he will also buy a Renault Megane, join the Virgin Active Health Club, and have an Aga installed at No.10 Downing Street.
"There are clear choices to be made," he said. "Do we want a Britain where people lack aspiration and bang on about the playing fields of Eton? Or will we forge a country where we go to the opera, holiday in Tuscany, Verbier, Padstow and, most important of all, encourage our children to watch Nigella, Gok Wan and Strictly Come Dancing?"
"The choice is yours."
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I want a country where people dine regularly at the Ivy and visit the Tate Modern
ReplyDeleteI want a country where people buy my fucking cook books.
ReplyDeleteDon't you just adore Gordon?
ReplyDeleteWhat the fuck you on?
ReplyDeleteYeah, the choice is ours.
ReplyDeleteNow piss off
I want a country where vestal virgins push their motorbikes over cricket fields with long shadows and warm beer slopping around over the chests of busty barmaids.
ReplyDeleteI want a Britain where the Prime Minister of the day will chuck one of his cabinet ministers over the desk and rip of her panties and
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OK guys, I want to see class mobility work like this:
ReplyDeleteThe Prime Minister of the day, who came from humble origins, and who was called John, asked Edwina, who had a solid middle class Northern upbringing, to come into his office.
"Edwina, my dear, you have a not inconsiderable pair of happy sacks on you. Would it appear burdensome for you to remove your scented undergarments so that I can bend you over my desk and insert my-
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I want a Britain where people will just answer the bloody question.
ReplyDeleteI do NOT want to have to repeat myself when I ask, did you or did you not think that there were WMD in Iraq?
Can I just say that Edwina Currie's remarks are typical of the way the Tories 'do' class mobility. You have to sleep your way to the top.
ReplyDeleteI would like a Britain where class mobility means getting your husband to buy the porn movies, where a Home Secretary can watch in the company of her own home films like 'Saucy Special Advisers stick their massive -
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I would like a country, people, where a man who looks like he has a stocking over his head can walk into a post office without the staff thinking that he is staging a robbery. I was once a postman, now I scare everyone at the Home Office.
ReplyDelete